Snowflake

I am a parent with a child who has autism and I live in St. Louis County. I am tired of hearing how well the special schools serve all special needs and how all the resources are out there. Mary Armstrong,of the St. Louis Public Schools, claims that parents don't know what is out there and implies that the parents are ignorant and unable to make the best choices for their child. This is only one of her misguided arguments as to why we parents must allow our children to remain trapped in an inept system because they are the ones who can make the best choices for our childrne. Her attitude is reflected throuhout the public education system~both in the city and the county. As a parent, I find this insulting to all the families who are trapped and suffering in the public special schools system.

I have met many parents with special needs kids. I spoke with one Mother, from the county, who has moved her family TWICE and she says, rightly so, that the schools purposely do not tell parents of the resources available. She was told that an IEP is not a legal enforceable document (NOT TRUE). She was also told by the Kirkwood Special School District that she was not allowed to show up unannounced at school~that she must tell them in advance. THIS IS ILLEGAL!! This Mother could write a book on all the horror stories that just ONE of her 2 special needs child has endured~not to mention her family's suffering.

People in the city think that the county schools and the families served by them are priviledged and have all the necessary resources available to serve our special children. While it is true that SOME children have been truly advanced, NOT ALL have been helped. It takes little effort to find that numerous families have completely uprooted and moved to new zip codes (or lied about their zip codes) in order to serve just ONE of thier children. The effects on the families~the other typically developing children, and the heart-wrenching choices parents must make to serve one child at the emotional expense of another are unthinkable.

I know of a Mother whose first autistic son was exceptionally served by Kirkwood Special Schools, but her 2nd son was failed miserably because they were not trained to deal with his different special need. In the private setting she is paying personally $32K a year for, her 2nd son is finally flourishing. How fortunate for her that she can afford Giant Steps for her child. The Special School District used to send children they couldn't help to Giant Steps AND they supported the tuition. No child has been placed in the last few years and Giant Steps is at risk of closing.

To quote yet another Mother whose family has suffered at the hands of Special School Districts unable to address ALL special needs, these special needs children are 'as unique as snowflakes'. I love this analogy. To add to that, they can be as delicate as a snowflake too. Under the right circumstances, these children can flourish~but when trapped and underserved, they can melt away, draining a family's personal, emotional and financial resources, causing financial drain on the economy in many ways. Over the lifetime of just one child who isn't helped~Autism can cost as much as $3 million in real and indirect costs (Time off work, a parent quitting their job to stay home with a child, medical bills, disability payments, food stamps, public support, DIVORCE at 90%!!, etc...).

When identified at an early age, children with special needs~particularly children with autism, can be advanced greatly. To not find them early and intervene with proven methods, is indeed a costly injustice~for the individual family and for the community.

As a community and as a state, we need to look to alternative methods of educating, early intervention, support, and research. Autism in particular is being diagnosed at an epidemic rate in our country. 10 years ago, 1 in 10,000 kids was diagnosed with Autism. Now it's 1 in 144. There is a reason and we need to find it. There are solutions and we need to enact and support them. We also need to support the parents who are EXPERTS at understanding the needs of their own special little snowflakes!